Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize