I wannas sexs uuuuu
her facebook's as public as her vagina
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
