would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
