It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
