The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i drank out of a bidet.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize