Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize