playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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