hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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