I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
