When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The Olympian is in my bed
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
