Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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