just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
