I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
