the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
