im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
