FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
i think i just lost a toe
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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