lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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