If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize