I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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