I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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