Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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