No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
