She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
