a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
