dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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