Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
