She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
