we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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