On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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