Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
how do flat chested girls get laid?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
