I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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