Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
