he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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