I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
