Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
