no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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