I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
