You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize