YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
