Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
