Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
