i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
