I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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