I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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