the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
