i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
it's like iHOP with fire
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
