Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
