i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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