also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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