i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
