o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
