Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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