Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
