please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
