Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
