Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Randomize
