At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
