i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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