i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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