your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
