Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
