Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
