so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
