New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize