RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
where am i from again
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
