Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
